Since a few months, no question for your child to wear a jacket or a pair of sneakers that are not signed! How to react? The advice of our specialist, Valérie Boujon, a clinical psychologist.
He loves brands, which disturbs?
- Your child. He feels frustrated when you deny him the latest trendy model …
- You. You would like him to not give too much importance to his appearance and understand that you can not give him everything.
CASE BY CASE SOLUTION
He wants to belong to a group
Same sneakers as Leo, same jacket as Pauline … your child wants just like his comrades.
What has to be done
- Your child grows up and feels the need to belong to a group. It needs common traits to identify itself and this includes clothing.
- As a parent, it’s up to you to find the middle ground between what you want to convey to him as an education: “You can not have everything,” and his desire to belong to the group from which you can not totally exclude him.
- Refusing everything to him would prevent him from existing outside of your parental desire and would harm his development.
- What to tell him. “You choose between the T-shirt you like and the sneakers you talk to me so often. “
It opens on the outside:
If he wants these trendy sneakers, it’s not just to look like his classmates, but also to find his personality and get away from you.
What has to be done
- In showing your own tastes, your child assumes his position as a subject in his own right, apart from what you expect of him as a parent. He means to you who he is outside the house.
- It’s up to you to become acquainted with what becomes of him to allow this movement of separation. Understanding your need for independence does not stop you from explaining that you can not buy everything for budget purposes. It’s up to you to find the right measure.
- What to tell him. “I understand that this watch is important for you, I find it pretty too. If you agree, I’ll give it to you for your birthday, but not before. “